As an Introvert, I am (Fortunately) Not …
1. … outwardly cheerful. If I’m happy and I know it, there’s absolutely no reason for me to show it to you.
2. … happy to meet/see you. I really don’t care, and I really don’t want to have to stop and talk. I can, however, smile and say whatever polite words are required in order to avoid drama.
3. … shy. I experience anxieties when having to be among people, in the sense of trying to find the quickest way out of the conversation without causing conflict — and I avoid conflict only because I resent having to feed someone else’s compulsive need for attention, when that energy could be better directed elsewhere.
4. … generous with personal information. I dislike talking, especially about myself. Questions in general serve only to draw us into the ugly maze of conversation (or argument). It violates my sense of integrity to tell people personal details about myself, and it leaves me with a repulsive feeling in my psyche.
5. … generous with anything. I fortunately am free from the need to make self-important displays of humanitarianism. A gregarious personality attracts humans like feces draw flies, and philanthropic acts are generally “repaid” by being swamped by the swarm.
6. … silently judging you. I’m just wishing I were somewhere else, far away from you, and free to do as I desire. I don’t want to have to think about you at all. I’m anticipating all the wonderful things I can do when you finally go away.
7. … a good listener. On rare occasions, I am genuinely interested, but I usually become intensely bored listening to other people. So I wander, mentally, into better places until I can escape literally.
Likewise, I see how the initial flood of relief that comes when we are finally alone can be satisfying and perhaps addictive to some introverts, but I always feel much better without unwanted human contact in the first place.
8. … nice. It’s not a priority for me to be seen as amicable. I want to be left alone. It’s not a matter of antagonism, rather of disinterest, and we all know that the opposite of love is not hatred, but indifference. My level of love for humanity isn’t what society approves of or considers “nice”, but I don’t consider anyone who gratuitously tries to force their presence on others to be very “nice” either.
9. … always outwardly disagreeable. I can, and usually do, behave courteously in order to avoid confrontation, as conflict only prolongs the unwanted interaction, wasting my time and mental efforts.
10. … adventurous. I detest adventure. I despise traveling. I loathe new environments and meeting new people, and I abhor trying new things and suffering their unexpected and averse effects.
I prefer that my attention is not drained away by an avalanche of meaningless external diversions. I’m not amused by novelty, nor by anything which is of no profound significance to me. I crave tranquility, comfort, solitude, self-reflection, and the freedom to escape into my own world. (I also recoil at the thought being trapped in a car with other people, and having nowhere to retreat.)
11. … outdoorsy. Being a private person, I don’t care for the open air or the feeling of being exposed. I only like to escape into the outdoors if it’s crowded inside.
12. … “concerned” about any of this. I am no longer ashamed. I know my perspectives are not socially acceptable, but they are valid as they are. They are not something to “work on” or to change. I don’t want to be the outgoing “ideal” which society tries to mold us into. I feel a deep, intense aversion to that type of person and to their lifestyle. They make me feel fortunate to be as I am, despising all which I despise, with awareness.