Jewelry

I finally have my online store up and running! I have handmade jewelry for sale, and I will soon add artwork.

 

If you’re interested, but can’t buy from the site, send me a message!

 

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On the Dumbing Down of Language

I refuse to use slang or diminutive “euphemisms”; I refuse to dumb down my speech for the approval of an anti-intellectual society, and I am making a series of images/quotes/memes — I actually don’t know the correct term for what they are — to encourage others to do the same.

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I dislike slang because I dislike the principles behind it. Contemporary society disapproves of intelligence and of possessing high levels of positive energy. Thus, there is often the pressure to diminish oneself, one’s personality and capabilities, in order to “fit in” — or simply to evade societal attack.

Hoodie is Idiot Babble

I notice the acrimony in my words, but anger exists for a reason; one of which is to allow us to eliminate that in ourselves which hinders us, sickens us, and drags us down. I spent far too much time among people who looked upon me with disgust and condescension whenever I was being true to myself, belittling my values, my character, everything which I found meaningful, even the concept of seeking meaning. I am at a time in my personal evolution where I find it necessary to repair and reassert myself.

I refuse to lower my standards or to “dumb myself down” in order to “fit in” or (more precisely) to make social interactions pass more smoothly. I refuse to integrate with people who insist on doing this. If I must interact with them, I keep them at a distance and resist any of their contaminating influence.

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I know no one in the world uses the (Latin) word “crustulum” — I intended this to be ironic. Yet, I also wanted to attack the ubiquitous slang words which have insidiously eaten their way into mainstream use. Recognizing them for what they are, I generally prefer to use a more eloquent term. (May I suggest the British English synonym, biscuit, for everyday use? It is also the French word.)

I prefer to be conscious of the words I use. On the subconscious level, language is more important than we currently understand. I regard my efforts toward for excellence in speech (as with everything) as basic cognitive hygiene. While I don’t care how other people prefer to live or represent themselves, I nevertheless appreciate seeing positive examples, and I seek to influence the social climate wherever I may, in the way of making it more favorable for the cerebrum.

If you are interested in purchasing prints or any item (clothing, phone cases, household items, etc.) with my images/quotes, you can do so at my RedBubble shop. I’d be grateful!

 

On the Use of Death Imagry

In the Goth subculture, there is a lot of death imagery. What meaning does this hold for you specifically, if any? 

Death imagry historically represented a stage of alchemical transformation; that is, the deep, intense, transformative energy of profound change.

I am drawn to this intense potential energy which lies dormant, lurking beneath the visible, tangible surface, waiting to explode into the storm which is reawakening. (In the not-so-distant past, I identified even more closely with this energy, as I waited for the opportunity to begin rebuilding myself and my life after a catastrophic loss.)

Death, in art, is analogous to the intense ionic charge of the “calm before the storm”. It is pressure at the zenith of intensity, just before the explosion. It is the nothingness in which all potential lies.

I am now more drawn to the volcanic explosion of resurrection, but I still find relevance in the dramatic energy of suspense evoked by death imagry, and this feeling is a great source of inspiration. Skulls specifically represent the exoskeleton of the mind, an armor against the opinions and (often toxic) influence of others — which is so necessary when one is undergoing change.

Question stolen from: https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/59327168/posts/2225551033

Artist Statement

I have not yet shared my visual artwork on this blog, though I don’t really know why, as it revolves around the same themes which obsess me.

I am an artist, photographer and (sometimes) writer. I forge my work in the intense flames of my ire, as a weapon to defend my choleric and rather uncongenial nature. Art is not a peaceful, passive or “calming” activity for me — all of those things disgust me, and I attack these concepts in my work. I don’t do this to “calm down” or to “get rid of” anger. Conversely, I do it to feed the fire, and to communicate my perspective in a more powerful, profound way which reaches more people.

Hostility is my “happy” place, and my work is a great source of rage and intense eustress, which I thrive upon. It is adrenalizing and arousing of competitive and combative hunger. I aspire to ride an eternal zenith of intensity ever upward.

Horror inspires me on the aesthetic level. I am drawn to the intense feelings it can evoke. I love high-energy excitement and intensity, not calm or complacent “happiness”, which I find stagnant and antithetical. I want everything I do (in life as well as art) to reflect powerful, high-octave intensity.

 

For more of my work, feel free to visit my website.

When ‘Politeness’ isn’t Worth It

I dislike “resolutions” and the attitudes surrounding them. They are made arbitrarily, and as most people fail miserably, the idea of “resolutions” in general seems jocular and pathetic, not to be taken seriously. I don’t set out to fail, and I don’t make changes I am not serious about. However, during the end of December, I thought a lot about what I had been doing wrong in my life, especially during the last year and the consequences of this — and thus what I needed to improve about myself. I have thought about this deeply and often since then, and I have since integrated it into my life.

Today is the Spring Equinox, arguably the natural “new year’s day” and what I prefer to consider to be the start of a “new year”. I have changed — not for the year, but I hope permanently. I hope to never regress back into what I was. I hope to evolve more into what I am now, and then to evolve further.

I no longer follow arbitrary conventions of politeness. I now see the dangers (and futility) of this. There were many times in 2017 and 2018 when I acted against my beliefs and values again and again, for the sake of being polite, which only made me feel worthless. I lost all sense of integrity, and for a long time, it destroyed me as a person. The people for whom I did this did not appreciate it; they did not even see me as being polite.

Now I am recovering, but I feel like I still have a long way to go. Additionally, I feel the need to stay away from people who try to force me to compromise my integrity.

I understand now that I must stand up for myself, to set boundaries to not politely accept being insulted, not to answer intrusive questions, not to answer “questions” which are thinly veiled insults. … not to participate in anything which opposes my values. If I don’t believe in your religion, for instance, I don’t participate in it. I’m not going to listen to you talk about your religious beliefs if I am not interested, as many people seem to assume this is a submission of will and an invitation for conversion — when it is only basic politeness.

I won’t tolerate verbal abuse. I won’t tolerate insults and false accusations of insanity, most of which stem from the fact that I don’t want to waste my time and life doing stupid and pointless things with imbeciles. As much as possible, I limit the time I spend among people who don’t bring good feelings of excitement, inspiration and motivation.

It is draining to sit through boring, forced and unpleasant conversations which you are not really part of, simultaneously making the effort to (somewhat) pay attention and to keep an unoffending facial expression. Multitasking rarely works; moreover, I find forced smiles to be tedious, unnecessary and draining — but there are certain people who will have a problem if you don’t keep one plastered on.

I also set boundaries with my body. I am celibate. I avoid anything with a sedative effect. I don’t drink anymore, and I no longer eat things which don’t agree with me — or things which simply disgust me.

I don’t talk about these things; I don’t owe anyone this information or any explanation of it. I will tell someone this, rather than to tell a simple and polite lie because I feel the need to openly stand my ground. (Okay, perhaps I won’t say that something which someone offers me is disgusting; I’ll have to find a polite alternative to that one.) However, all of these things are extremely important to me, and to do otherwise was only ever an attempt to avoid verbal/social attack and confrontation.

What is “no fun” is to be around pushy and imposing people who don’t respect boundaries. I now see that it is important to take ourselves and our boundaries seriously, despite whichever clichés the contemporary society and its toxic media may push.

People who don’t respect your boundaries will not respect anything — regardless of whether you “give in” to their pushy demands. I learned this the difficult way. Therefore I will not chase the respect of such people ever again, and at this point, it is not something I want or value. I have better goals and priorities — which I don’t have to explain to anyone.